Further proof of Sweet William's cult hero status is the
While some of the material above is definitely ADULT, our OWN
contributions don't venture into such territory:
Whistle-World is a
family-friendly universe (as in ADDAMS-family), where clothes only
get ripped off in battlefield surgical emergencies. Trust me, I'm
(15/R for violence & 18C military surgery)
A Loyal American counter-narrative to the film. Ben Martin's
illegitimate daughter Augusta - a quadroon - welcomes the destruction
of the plantation and finds herself a new family in the Green
Dragoons. She is adopted by the regimental surgeon, and forms a
strong bond with the dashing Lieut. Col. Will Tavington. But will her
father's thirst for vengeance destroy them both before they can admit
- a sly comedy which provides a happier ending and resolves the
mystery of why the Green Dragoons in the film weren't
Will Tavington regains consciousness after being wounded at Cowpens.
He thinks he recognises the people around him... But why does
Benjamin Martin cluck like a chicken?
- a cartoon strip, in which the author gets more than she
bargained for when the DVD arrives on Hallowe'en 2000...
As Max observed, pace Emily
Hope isn't just a thing with feathers, it also has fur and a
- a crazy romp in which the
Whistle-World gang wreaks a
fiendish revenge on Ben Martin involving chicken feathers and a
We could always re-edit
Patriot for UK and Canadian
LOYALIST, in which Ben Martin
becomes a Dave Fanning-type Loyal American avenger after a Ben
Cleveland-inspired character (played by Jabba the Hutt) fatally
squashes his children by sitting on them!!! He then has to go after
'Moby' Cleveland with harpoon and flensing knife...
We're also concocting our own subversions
of the ending...
suggests the following delightful hybridisation with Tim Burton's
enchanting Sleepy Hollow
for the climatic
Just as Mel has seized his
instrument of vengeance and warped his features into the
obligatory mix of manly grief and manlier rage, we hear
hoofbeats; heavy, heavy hoofbeats...
Christopher Walken, clad in black armor, his teeth filed
into fangs, gallops up on his black Andalusian and lops off
Mel's head, dropping it neatly into his pouch as he and
Jason Isaacs exchange courteous nods.
The next scene: Walken, Isaacs and Tom Wilkinson drink
Bruderschaft, sing Ein Trau Husar and argue amiably
over who gets the title role in John André's upcoming
production of Nathan der Wiese.
This I LIKE...!!!
I'd also have liked the Martin brood to
be more Southern Gothic (like their borderline(?) psychotic
father...). A kind of Carolina branch of the Addamses by way of
Tennessee Williams and
Mind, given the enthusiasm one of the little monsters had for sniping
at redcoats ("I'm glad we did it"), he might yet develop into a
juvenile terrorist. The temporarily mute Susan was pretty spooky, and
struck me as the one you'd expect to slip arsenic in the teapot when
the maid wasn't looking... A potential Wednesday.
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